Authorities are on the lookout for a terrorist who has served as al Qaeda's spokesman for the past few years. Incredibly, this person has been living in the United States the entire time and was last seen terrorizing a small handful of women who normally just get together to gossip. Authorities say this person should be considered loud and obnoxious. If spotted, you are urged to run away or you might get hit by a Tickle Me Elmo doll.
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